EqualityQuilt

Actually, Grandma, Guns DO Kill People.

I live in North Minneapolis.  I own a home there, and I try to take good care of that home, and I know that there are lots of other homeowners – well intentioned family-oriented people – in my neighborhood and the larger community of North Minneapolis – who, like me, are trying to revitalize the Northside and make it safer for children, families, and other nice folks.  I would even venture to guess that people like me, who don’t make a lot of money but still want a place to call their own, who work out in the garden until the sun sets, who shovel every time it snows, and who gladly would share whatever we have with our neighbors, largely outnumber those members of our community who are perpetuating the negative reputation that North Minneapolis has earned as being a dangerous, violence-ridden, gang-ruled no-man’s land into which the average citizen would be insane to step into. 

Unfortunately, violence in North Minneapolis happens.  Every time there is a burglary, my heart sinks.  Every time there is a shooting, I cry for the victim’s family and for my community as a whole.  Every time an act of violence is perpetrated in my neighborhood, I get a little scared.  It’s natural to feel insecure in your surroundings when bad things happen there.  But I still walk my dogs by myself in my own neighborhood.  I still like to take a bike ride down my street.  Because I know that a huge proportion of the violence in my community is gang-related.  And most of it is directed towards others who are also involved in gangs.  Since I’m not in a gang, I feel okay.  I feel like nobody’s going to target me.

But then something like this happens, and I don’t feel safe anymore.  Because stray bullets don’t care who’s in a gang and who’s just a damn three year old learning how to walk up stairs.  Nor do bike thieves care who’s riding the bike they’re coveting. 

I posted a link to the City Pages article on Jody Patzner’s murder on my facebook page.  One friend, an aunt on my partner’s side, commented that she hates guns.  My grandma responded: “Hate the shooter, not the gun.”  In my head, I screamed at her.

Because you know what, Grandma?  Everyone says “hate the shooter, not the gun” until the person that they love who has a gun ends up shooting someone.  Or themselves.  On purpose, on accident, in self defense; it doesn’t matter.  Suddenly the responsible gun owner in whose defense such proclamations have been made, becomes the hated shooter.  And then what do you have left?  Then I bet you want to hate the gun, not the shooter.  Or place the blame on somebody else.

A high school friend of mine shot himself with his rifle while “playing” with it a few years ago.  Who do we hate in that situation?  I feel pretty confident in saying that his family probably hated the gun.  Not him.  George Zimmerman, the man who shot Trayvon Martin allegedly in self-defense in Florida this February, is probably hating the gun he was carrying around with him when he ran into the teenager on that fateful evening.  Because if he hadn’t had the gun, he wouldn’t be in prison right now.  If my high school friend hadn’t had a gun, he’d probably be alive right now.  And if Jody Patzner’s murderers had not had a gun, they probably would have just beaten him up.  He’d be out a bike, but at least he’d be alive.

And that, my friends – and Grandma – is why Minnesota needs to be extremely careful in the drafting and enforcement of gun legislation.  Of course we don’t know where the gun that killed Patzner came from.  I’d guess that it’s probably not registered.  But Zimmerman’s gun was registered.  I bet he’s even uttered the phrase “hate the shooter, not the gun” in defense of his choice to “responsibly” carry a registered weapon.

This is why Minnesota does NOT need a “Shoot First” bill.  This is why nobody in Minnesota, despite their best intentions, their responsible nature, their respect for human life, should just be ALLOWED to carry a gun around.  Because the sad fact is that without guns, lots of people would still be with us.

People without guns may perpetrate violent crimes.  But they are less likely to commit murder, or make a fatal mistake.  Guns do kill people.

 

People + Guns = Dead People. 

The End. 

-Trisha

Buzzworthy - Time to Play Catch-up, Y'all.

Hello avid readers,

I know I've been a little tardy with the Friday Buzzworthy posts.  If you're like me, you don't have much time during the week to keep up on all the local and national news.  So I've wrangled up some of the most buzzworthy headlines of the week for your reading convenience.  Some are infuriating, some are inspiring.  But they're all worth a quick read - and you'll have something to chat about next time you get caught in a watercooler huddle, or an awkward dinner party.  

 

Ready?  Here we go:

 

Trayvon Martin's death is an LGBT issue, and here's why.  

In kind-of related news, a young man in North Minneapolis was shot to death Monday night for his bike.  While delivering a plate of lasagna to a home-bound neighbor.  My grandma says "don't hate the gun, hate the shooter."  Know what I say?  That's what those guys said, till they shot somebody.  PS - Minnesota almost just had it's own "Shoot First" bill pass - thanks to Gov. Dayton, we dodged that bullet last week.  This time.

Hillary Clinton rules the school.  She's so cool she made a meme about herself.  Mind - officially blown.

Teen pregnancy is at an all-time low.  But wait! Surprise!  It's still pretty common in states that still enforce archaic, denial-steeped abstinence-only sex ed policies.

Too much of a good thing? 1/4 mammomograms may be "overdiagnosing" breast cancer.  Yikes!

 

 

Don't get too comfy over there - the War on Women is totally still happening.  Especially in Arizona.

Democratic political commentator Hilary Rosen made the "mistake" of revealing GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney's wife Ann's lack of work-force experience on TV the other night.  

 

While everything she said is pretty much true, her indiscretion is causing an uproar evocative of the "Mommy Wars" of the '80s and '90s.  My two cents?  There's a huge difference between being an average American mom and being a wealthy white politician's wife who has the privilege of not having to worry about providing an income for her family.

PS - If the work of stay-at-home-moms is so valuable to you (like it is to me), how 'bout you legislate it?

Ashley Judd spoke out on TV and in the press after being slammed by the media for having a "puffy face" - striking up speculation that she'd either gained weight (oh noes!) or had "work done" (mind yer own beeswax, anyway).  

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

 

Here's the fantabulous essay she wrote for The Daily Beast speaking out against the cultural attitudes toward women that make our bodies the object of constant public ridicule.  Read more about what kind of an impact this role model's action this week is having on women here.

 

That's gonna wrap it up from the MWC this afternoon.  I'm gonna go get my Friday on.  Be safe and super-smart this weekend, folks.

-Trisha

White Dudes Can’t BeatBox and Blowjob Shots Dehumanize Women: The Sad Truth About The Shout House(!)

You know how sometimes you’re forced to participate in something that you just know is going to be terrible? Say, like me, you have to go to your butch-identified partner’s brother’s fiancée’s bachelorette party. As a queer person, I already feel pretty alienated by this stuff. I honestly can’t even fathom how someone who transgresses conventional gender norms might feel under these circumstances. But, generally, we act excited and participate with requisite smiles plastered on our faces, all for the sake of keeping the peace with the extended family.

Last weekend, though, I knew I was going to be in over my head. We had rented a limo, eaten our weight in catered tacos and frozen strawberry margaritas, and the sister of the bride had planned what was allegedly going to be a “sexy night out on the town” for myself, my partner, the bride, and a handful of her friends. When I found out we were headed to The Shout House! in downtown Minneapolis, my heart sank. I had never been inside the “Dueling Piano Bar!” but I had a hunch that it was going to be the kind of fun that only privileged whitefolks with plenty of money and low levels of social consciousness would truly be able to enjoy.

Fox News commentator Liz Trotta: Women in military should expect to be "raped too much," should not get support services.

Fox News contributor Liz Trotta showed her true (pro-military, anti-feminist) colors on Sunday, claiming that women in the military should expect to be raped, and that the Pentagon is spending way too much money on prevention and support services for victims of sexual violence in the Military.  Read the entire interview here.

 

 

 

If investing in the prevention of sexual violence against military women is such an offensive waste of money by the government, why isn't Liz Trotta concerned about the trillions of dollars our government spends on war (which happens to be a major contributing factor to the rape culture in which we live)?

She's right about one thing - if we continue to institutionalize systems that support and promote sexual violence, women will continue to be victimized.  Trotta is, of course, grotesquely out of touch (but in tune with dominant rape-casual attitudes that blame victims rather than perpetrators) when she places the responsibility of prevention on women who experience sexual violence in the military.

Where Trotta falls especially short, however, is in the assertion that the military's preventive strategy is problematic and wasteful.  At the very least, we need more victim advocates, crisis counselors, and "response coordinators" on the scene.  Perhaps, though, a better solution would be to address the underlying causal attitudes and problematic cultural paradigm that accepts sexual violence as an inevitable fact of life, particularly in the military.  The fact that the number of violent sexual assaults has jumped so noticeably over the past six years says something important - maybe rather than talking about how women in the military are asking to be raped simply by being there, we should address the myriad ways in which military culture hyper-genders men and reinforces the idea that violent behavior is a definitive expression of masculinity and power.

-Trisha

Friday Highlights: What You Might Have Missed This Week

"Pregnancy Centers Come Under Fire for Abortion Info"

NARAL Pro-Choice Minnesota released a report this week which chronicled the types of information given to women who seek help at crisis pregnancy centers. Get the full story from the Star Tribune.

"Birth Control for Men?"

Ms. Magazine's blog takes another look at what new birth control methods developed for men might look like. For the full story see the Ms. Magazine Blog.

"Duluth Joins Campaign to Defeat the Marriage Amendment"

The Duluth City Council just announced they voted to formally oppose the Marriage Amendment which will appear on the ballot in November. Check out MNUnited.org or the Duluth News Tribune for more information.

"Taboos Undercut Nepal's Marital Rape Law"

Some women in Nepal are trying to figure out how to handle marital rape and domestic violence. Get the full story at WomensENews.org.

"Pittsburgh's Milk Truck Breaks for Nursing Moms"

A new organization is blooming in Pittsburgh. Figure out why it might soon be easier to breastfeed on the streets from WomensENews.

Peace and Safety Everywhere: Bluff Country Family Resources

Celebration 32 is getting ever closer! Today, check out Bluff Country Family Resources, the 2012 Peace and Safety Everywhere honoree.

Bluff Country Family Resources provides help to survivors of domestic violence, child abuse, sexual violence, stalking, and homelessness. BCFR is located in Hokah, MN and is one of the few resources of its kind available to rural Minnesotans. They provide a 24 hour crisis line, legal advocacy, and emergency shelter (among many other services) - making BCFR an indispensable organization.

Congratulations Bluff Country Family Resources! We look forward to honoring you at Celebration 32!

For more information on BCFR click here.

How Do I Live...Without A Sense of Self Worth?

I find it fascinating that in such an individualistic society as America there is such a strong emphasis on the necessity of romantic relationships. Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with romantic relationships - rather, the idea of how relationships should be is problematic. I am talking about obsession and the ever present idea of your partner "completing" you. Reality is that obsession is unhealthy (who finds it sexy to be stalked?) and if you feel incomplete without another person, you have some serious self-worth issues to sort out. Now, obsession is fairly self-explanatory, but let us discuss the issue of partner based completion a bit more. Your partner should indeed make your life better and more fulfilling. Being happier in a relationship than out is an important indicator that the relationship is working. But, you should not base your entire existence around your partner. You should have a happy and fulfilling life before you enter into a relationship. There are many ways to make life worth living even without a partner - friends, family, a good job, volunteering, and hobbies (reading, writing, biking etc.) to name a few. It is essential to cultivate your self-worth. Without self-worth, you base all your happiness on others, which is emotionally dangerous. Of course, pop culture fuels bad relationship habits. Music, books, movies, and magazines all tend to place some emphasis on the necessity of romantic relationships. Media images promote partner based completion, and a partner based completion attitude is an excellent starting point for unhealthy, obsessive, and possibly violent relationships.

To illustrate my point, take a look at the following song lyrics and quotes:

Who Is On Her Side?

"What really grabs my attention is how you said this is tearing the community apart. Who isn't on the girl's side?" - Nick from 93X's Half Assed Morning Show

This was said in response to news that the sexual assault of an 11-year-old girl by multiple young men is wreaking havoc on the community of Cleveland, Texas. According to reports from The Houston Chronicle, The New York Times, and FoxNews.com the girl was invited to drive around with one suspect, who is 19. He then brought her back to his home, which he shares with a second suspect, also 19. It was at this home, and later, an abandoned trailer where the girl was sexually assaulted under threat of beating by these two men and multiple others (police currently have 17 suspects). The assault came to light when the girl's teacher was shown cell phone videos the young men took during the assault and later distributed to friends. 

With proof of video, it would seem logical for the Cleveland, Texas community to rally in support of the 11-year-old victim. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Since the assault became public the victim's family has been receiving threatening phone calls while members of the community purport the girl wore to much make-up, dressed inappropriately for her age, and spent time with teenage boys. In fact, the victim has received little sympathy or support while the accused men were referred to as being "drawn into such an act".

Let's get real for a second. Did an 11-year-old girl really "draw in" seventeen different men to threaten her with beatings if she refused to have sex with them? Did she also connive her way into getting those men to record the acts on cell phones and later distribute them? That explanantion does not seem logical, right? That is because it is not. What we are seeing in these reports is a classic case of victim blaming. This community does not want to admit that it is capable of producing seventeen different young men who, at one time, deemed the act of raping an 11-year-old appropriate. So, blame her. Blame the atrocious acts of these young men on the way their victim dressed and her parents lack of supervision. No one seems concerned with the lack of parental supervision on the part of the perpetrators, considering a number of them are junior high and high school age.

This incident illustrates a key problem with how American society handles sexual assault. Instead of placing responsibility on perpetrators we pick apart the victim. We have bought into the myth that no person would commit such a horrific act without instigation or mental defect. So, when seemingly normal young men rape an 11-year-old girl we assume she did something wrong.

It is a sad statement about our social atmosphere that this attitude still exists - that the Cleveland, Texas community is not standing behind this survivor. Yet, there is hope. Victim blaming, though still pervasive, is being called out more often. I was ridiculously pleased with the reaction of 93X's Nick. He gets it - he understood that this girl did nothing wrong and deserves none of the blame for what happened to her. If society could collectively move in that direction think of the miraculous effect it would have on sexual violence. It would aid in healing and validation for survivors and possibly even prevent future sexual assaults. If society recognizes that perpetrators are solely responsible for their actions, that victims do not instigate attacks, then maybe sexual violence will become a horror of the past. - Jen Kaltveit

 

Mind, Body, and Soul

Hey baby. Hey girl. Damn, you're fine. Why don't you c'mon over here sweetheart and I'll show you a good time? You know, girl, we could make beautiful babies together. Can I call you sometime? It's okay if you have a boyfriend, we can just be friends. You're sexy. You're hot as hell.

Imagine unobtrusively walking down the street when a car horn honks at you. You look up, perhaps it's someone you know. It's not. It's a man driving. He leers at you and says, "Hey, baby. You're sexy." You look away and keep walking. He takes that as an invitation to try harder. He says, "Can I have your number?" You shout no and continue walking. He thinks you're playing hard to get. He says, "C'mon baby, I'll treat you right. You're sexy as hell." Still walking, you shout back, "I'm not single." He presses on, "We can just be friends." You keep walking, ignoring him. At this point hopefully he gives up, is forced to keep driving or you have reached your destination. It doesn't matter how, but you just want him to stop. To leave you alone. On the surface you're calm, and chances are he won't do anything to hurt you. Chances are he will give up and you will continue walking, physically unharmed. Still, in the back of your mind is fear. What if he doesn't stop? What if he follows me? Will I be able to get away? Is there anyone around who will help me? Anywhere I can hide?

How often, and to how many women, does this situation happen each day? Today, in the process of walking four blocks, it happened to me THREE TIMES. Not exactly as portrayed above, but quite similar. The scenario I have laid out is a generic scene I put together from the countless times I have been approached since I was thirteen. Over the past eight years I have developed a way to handle these situations. Don't respond. Don't make eye contact and keep my distance. Whatever I do, keep walking. Usually, this response is enough for my admirers to get the picture. They don't stand a chance in getting my phone number or any positive response. Although, its not a fool proof approach. I have had men follow me. More often, it is when I'm driving and they're driving, they attempt to gain my affections by calling me something along the lines of "sexy baby" at stoplights. I'm not afraid of them when I am protected by my car. I can get away. When I walk down the street, or exit a gas station the fear sets in. They are taller, stronger, and more agile than me. If they want to physically attack me because I don't respond, or respond with anger, they can. And sadly, they will probably win.

I will never forget the first time one of these men followed me. I was fourteen, he looked to be about twenty. I was a block from my house - heading to a friend's who lived just two blocks away. It was summer, late afternoon. He drove by and shouted something. Exactly what he said escapes me, but it was one of the more racy comments I have received. I ignored him and he turned the corner. I assumed he drove away. He didn't. He went around the block. I walked faster, hoping he wasn't coming back because of me. He was. He stopped his car at the entrance to the alley I had just entered, I was still not in sight of my friend's house. That is when the real panic set in. What was he going to do? Would he get out of his car? Could I make it to Kelsey's before he caught up with me? He started calling to me, I didn't look back and begin to run. I sprinted until I reached Kelsey's back door. I still wouldn't look back and the door was locked. I pounded on it until Kelsey answered. I remember pushing my way past her until I got to the living room. He couldn't harm me there.

Why did this man follow me? Why do these men even talk to me? Do they really think calling me "sexy baby" makes me feel sexy? It doesn't. It is violating, it makes me feel exposed, annoyed, and devalued. To them, I am a sex object. I am nothing more than a thing who they see as attractive enough to have sex with. And over eight years, after countless incidents with countless men, no one has ever said, "What's your name?" The most basic part of any person's identity and all these men who will "treat me right" have never bothered to ask.

But I do have a name. I have an identity - everyone does. For all the women (and men) who have ever been objectified, devalued, and disrespected, recognize that you have an identity. Your identity encompasses mind, body, and soul. It is every thought and feeling you possess. Do not let those who objectify you define how you feel or who you are.

I don't let those men define my identity, but how could these experiences not influence how I exist in the world? Each time I walk down the street I must play body guard for myself - physically and emotionally. I must deal with the reality that a significant number of people see me as an object. It is a a burden that I have not chosen to carry - I am forced to carry because of a complex web of social issues. It's not fair, right? You can't change it, right?

Wrong. We, as a society, do not have to tolerate disrespect and objectification. We can stand, fight, and reclaim our identities. - Jen Kaltveit

 

 

Sen. Franken Advocates for Solution to Rape-Kit Backlog

Robin Marty of RH Reality Check has a succinct report on Sen. Franken's work to address the backlog of rape kits in police storages as well as the practice of making victims pay for their own forensic evidence. While addressing the Senate Judiciary Subcommittee on Crime and Drugs, Franken asserted: 

"The problem is that some jurisdictions are still billing victims for the rape kites, leaving it to the victims to get reimbursed by insurers or victims' funds. And with that objection, Mr. Chairman, I would like to add to the record for articles... that document this.

To me, the real problem is that this practice is actually legal under federal law. It is legal to bill a victim for her rape kit... Can you elabroate on this? Is it a good idea to allow victims to be billed for their rape kits, even if they get fully reimbursed later?"

Franken's office is currently working with the Chairman of this subcommittee to include three provisions that address this issue. Read Marty's full report here.